


And our Road goes on and on

by Daughter_of_Scotland



Series: Dragon Age Universe [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Alistair is Kieran's dad, Alistair lives, F/M, Hawke Dies, Lots of Crying, magic is a cure, pregnant Warden, some retelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 19:18:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12019296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daughter_of_Scotland/pseuds/Daughter_of_Scotland
Summary: After they reunite at Vigil's Keep, Alistair and Lyna stay together and marry. Then Kirkwall's chantry explodes, something surprising happens, and the Inquisition needs some help. Alistair just wants to retire.





	And our Road goes on and on

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how this became so long...
> 
> If you don't want to read the first two stories in this series: After the ritual, Alistair and the Warden (my character Lyna) break up, Lyna starts a relationship with Anders (Awakening), but ultimately gets back together with Alistair.  
> Second story is about Hawke and Anders who flee Kirkwall together.
> 
> This is what happened to Alistair and Lyna in-between and after.
> 
> Totally self-indulgent :D

Their lives had changed, after Amaranthine.

 

Alistair had stayed at the Keep, helping with the repairs, with the wounded. He and Lyna had grown close again, they had talked about the mistakes they had made, about their anger, about their time apart. They grew together again and in what seemed no time at all it was just like it had been before Morrigan got between them.

 

He kept his distance from the mage, Anders, after Lyna confessed she and him had been… intimate. And oh, how that had stung. But he also was truthful enough about his own actions that he knew he couldn’t be angry with her over it. She had needed companionship, just as he had. Only that while he had turned to wine and the occasional bar maid, she had made a friend and let him get close to her.

They were always different in some things.

 

But he didn’t want to be alone with Anders, either, so he kept away. And then Anders left.

 

He found Lyna in their chambers, rolled in the blankets, staring at the wall. Oghren had come to get him, saying she needed him, but not why.

 

He sat down on the bed and put his hand on her shoulder, offering comfort.

 

“What is it, love?” he asked softly.

 

“Anders left,” she whispered and his eyes widened in surprise. “He just… left. He didn’t say good bye.”

 

Alistair wondered what he should say. In the end he just kicked off his boots, crawled into bed, and pulled her into his arms. 

 

“I’m sorry,” she said as she wept into his chest. “I’ll stop. I just need a moment…”

 

He shushed her. “Take all the time you need,” he said, stroking her hair. “He was your friend, a close one. Parts of you loved him, I know.” He smiled. “And while I admit to jealousy, I won’t ever begrudge you his companionship. Grieve for your friend who left you. It is alright.”

 

She wept harder, clinging to him, and he thought that Wynne would be proud of him for finding the right words.

 

Though if he ever saw Anders again, he was going to hit him. Hard.

 

***

 

He saw Anders again.

 

It took a long time, years, in fact, in which Anora had eventually given up fearing he would suddenly decide to want the throne after all, he and Lyna had finally gotten married, and were basically retired but wandering.

Sometimes they split up, investigating various rumors of Darkspawn.

 

That was how he ended up in Kirkwall, but it ended with him pushing his sword into the belly of a Qunari and wondering, not for the first time, what had happened to Sten.

 

When he turned around, a young woman came charging at him, followed by a blond dwarf, an elf with glowing symbols on his face and hands, and - 

 

“Anders?” he asked, almost dropping his sword. “Is that you?”

 

The group stopped short and they all looked between him and the mage.

 

Anders’ face had grown pinched. “Ah… Alistair. What a… pleasant surprise to see you here…”

 

Alistair blinked and then took two steps forward, pulled his hand back, and punched Anders squarely in the jaw, making him take several steps back and almost fall.

 

“I wanted to do this for years,” Alistair spit out, shaking his hand, kind of glad he hadn’t been wearing steel gloves. He then noticed a crossbow pointed right at him and the woman raising her staff.

 

“Hey now,” he said, holding up his hands. “He had it coming a long time ago.”

 

The elf snorted and crossed his arms. “I’m not surprised, actually.”

 

The woman shot him a look and then looked back at Alistair. “Who are you and how do you know Anders?” she demanded.

 

“He’s a Grey Warden, Hawke,” Anders said, rubbing his jaw and coming closer. “And almost-King of Ferelden.”

 

His words took her by surprise enough to make her lower her weapon. Alistair noticed that, as she did so, so did the dwarf.

 

“That King business hasn’t been relevant in years,” he said, glaring at Anders. “Which you would know if, you know, you hadn’t  _ run away _ in the middle of the night.”

 

Anders looked away, balling his fists. 

 

Alistair noticed how the elf looked incredibly amused, while the dwarf now had a calculating look in his eyes. The woman - Hawke - just looked confused.

 

“You know exactly why I left,” Anders spit out. “You of all people know!”

 

Alistair nodded, his anger slowly ebbing away. “I do. But Maker, man, you made her cry. Of course I would punch you.”

 

They locked eyes and something was different, though Alistair couldn’t really say what it was… He had never been this close to Anders before. 

 

“She cried?” he asked. “Why would she?”

 

Alistair rolled his eyes. “Don’t be an idiot. You know you were her friend and she loved you.”

 

“She just loved you more,” he answered and what could Alistair do but shrug.

 

“While I find this extremely fascinating,” the dwarf finally interrupted, “there is an invasion going on. Why don’t we take care of that and then meet up in the Hanged Man for a pint or two and you can tell us all about your tragic love triangle?”

 

Alistair flushed, ashamed that he had forgotten about the threat. “I’ll see you there when this is over,” he said, hefting his sword. “And if anything goes wrong…” He looked at Anders again. “Write to her. She is your friend, still, and misses you.”

 

With that he left, noting absently that the group charged into another direction.

 

The meeting in the Hanged Man never happened, he figured they were busy after killing the Arishok and wow, did he have a story to tell when he got home.

 

***

 

Anders did indeed write. Alistair didn’t hide his surprise - nor his elation about Lyna’s expression of her gratitude.

 

But he also saw her frown over the letters, saw her worry her lower lip between her teeth, saw the ink stains on hastily written replies…

 

“Is he okay?” he asked her one night after one of those replies, a few years after he first went to Kirkwall.

 

She shook her head. “He says he is. He and Hawke - it's really nice of her to write us, too - are in a relationship, apparently, and things are going well. But… He says things… About the mages, and how they are treated, that worry me.”

 

Alistair frowned. “It seemed pretty bad in Kirkwall even then. Commander Meredith seems a… tad unhinged.”

 

She nodded. “I wrote to Cullen - remember, from the Circle?”

 

Alistair nodded. He remembered the tortured templar they had met. 

 

“Anders told me he is there, at Kirkwall,” Lyna explained. “I wrote him, asking about the state of things… Offered to help.”

 

He pinched her naked butt for not telling him about this earlier and she giggled. 

 

“He wrote me back, saying he didn’t need us to interfere, and it was all going as well as could be expected. I’m… not sure what to think of that.”

 

Alistair thought about it. “It sounds like he’s either completely behind Meredith and whatever she does to the mages, or he is in denial.”

 

Lyna nodded. “Yes. It worries me. He was… not right, when we left the Circle. From what Anders told me, he’s doing his best, but Anders is also very unforgiving of all templars…”

 

“Sounds like a right mess,” Alistair responded, gathering her close. “Do you want to go to Kirkwall?”

 

Her smile, grateful and happy and loving, was all the answer he needed.

 

“Let’s prepare for it in the morning,” was the last thing he said before she made sure they both had other things on their minds.

 

The next day, word reached them about the Chantry blowing up, killing thousands, the ensuing fight, and Anders and Hawke on the run.

 

Their trip to Kirkwall turned into quite the different mission than they had planned.

 

***

 

“This is horrible,” Lyna said as they wandered through the streets of Kirkwall, on their way to the Viscount’s Keep. Everywhere they looked where collapsed buildings, wounded people trying to clear up the rubble and sometimes still finding corpses underneath…

 

“It is,” Alistair agreed. “It’s already been two weeks since the explosion, but there must have been way more damage than we thought…”

 

Lyna nodded but stopped, putting her hand on his arm. “Alistair, look,” she said and pointed to a group of soldiers clearing out a house. “Is that…”

 

“Cullen,” Alistair agreed and they walked over, reaching them just in time as they lost control of a beam they were lifting.

 

Alistair reached out to steady it immediately, and Lyna steadied the soldier who had slipped and almost let go.

 

“Here, steady now,” she said and he sent her a grateful smile, as they heaved the beam away and lowered it to the ground.

 

“Thank you for the help,” Cullen said as he turned to them - and blinked. “What are you doing here?”

 

Alistair sent him a grim smile. “We’re here to help, of course,” he said and held out his hand.

 

Cullen blinked again but took it in a firm grasp. “I… I’m really glad to see you.” He turned to Lyna and reached his hand out again - she went and hugged him instead, quick but firmly.

 

Alistair noticed approvingly that Cullen’s shoulders seemed to loosen just a tiny bit at the hug.

 

“We came as soon as we heard,” Lyna told him. “Cullen… I’m so sorry.”

 

He nodded slightly, accepting her words. “Thank you, Commander,” he said.

 

She shook her head. “None of that, now, my titles are all in the past…” She seemed to notice something. “But you seems to have gotten a new one. Knight-Commander?”

 

Alistair turned a bit in surprise but yes, there was the insignia on Cullen’s armor…

 

Cullen rubbed his neck. “Not by choice,” he said and looked around. Alistair noted that all the other soldiers had wandered off to clear another area. 

 

“Meredith was… She…” Cullen couldn’t finish and buried his face in his hand. “Maker, I wish I had accepted your offer of help when you gave it,” he whispered. “I just followed orders, even if I believed them wrong… I do not deserve this title… This is partly my fault, too.”

 

“Nonsense,” Lyna slashed through his tirade and grabbed his hands in hers. “Cullen. You did the best you could. You are a good soldier, and from what I hear Meredith was good at hiding until the end. You did well, and you are what the people here need: Someone to look up to, someone who will treat them fairly and justly.”

 

Alistair nodded as Cullen looked at him. “She is right, as she often is,” he said earnestly. “You are the right man for the job.”

 

Cullen’s shoulders loosened even more. “I… You have no idea how glad I am about your words,” he said, squeezing Lyna’s hands before letting go. “Thank you.”

 

He turned to the city. “Hawke is gone,” he said bitterly. “She ran off with Anders… the one who did this. Some of their friends are still here, but there is a Seeker around, questioning people…” He shook his head. “Everything is going wrong.”

 

Alistair clapped his shoulder. “We’ll help as best as we can,” he promised. “You’re not alone in this, Cullen.”

 

Lyna nodded and clasped his other shoulder, almost having to stand on her tiptoes to reach it comfortably. Situations like this always showed that she was small for an elf.

 

Together, they walked over to the other soldiers, ready to clear out more rubble. The Keep could wait.

 

***

 

They found Aveline in the Keep when they finally got there, and watched her scold Cullen for being out too long.

 

“You’ll work yourself to death and where would we be then?” she asked and he looked chastised like a boy.

 

She then turned to them and offered her hand. “The Hero of Ferelden and Grey Warden Alistair,” she said, her voice thick. “I… I can’t thank you enough for what you did… I know I fled Ferelden and I should have stayed and fought, but…”

 

“Nonsense,” Lyna said, again, and Alistair wondered if she would have to say it to all soldiers in Kirkwall. “You saved your life and did great work here, from what I hear. You went right where you were needed.”

 

God, he loved his wife. She always knew just what to say.

 

“Aveline is my Knight-Captain,” Cullen said and the woman in question looked like that was complete news to her. “She is way more capable than I ever was at the job.”

 

“Well, you will have to induce a lot of changes around here,” Alistair said. “With the mages and all… you don’t plan on jailing them in the Gallows again, are you?” he added as an afterthought.

 

Cullen shook his head. “No. I’m… I’m not comfortable with them, as you might have guessed, and probably never will be, but I will not allow it to go back the way it was.”

 

“Neither will I,” Aveline said and they shared a quick look. “We will find a solution.”

 

Alistair and Lyna smiled at each other. It was always good when the leadership was in agreement.

 

“What about the Viscount?” Lyna asked next. “Will there be a new one?”

 

“Not for a while yet,” Cullen answered. “For now, we’ll keep with Martial law… but we will hold elections for a new one soon.”

 

“Some people were asking for Hawke to take the post,” Aveline added dryly. “But she is gone and wouldn’t have taken it anyway. And with Anders still out there…”

 

Alistair squeezed Lyna’s hand as she twitched.

 

Cullen’s eyes widened. “Of course… I forgot. You knew him, too.”

 

Lyna smiled sadly. “Not this Anders,” she said. “The one I knew would never have done this… But… I was there when Justice possessed him. He started to change even then, I’m afraid. And I… I didn’t make it better.”

 

Aveline nodded. “Yes. I heard the story from Hawke, whom he told.” She reached out and squeezed Lyna’s shoulder. “It is not your fault. The heart demands what it wishes. You couldn’t have known or stopped him.”

 

Another woman who knew exactly what to say. Alistair envied them both.

 

“Well, it is late, and this depressing talk,” Cullen finally said. “Why don’t we give you a place to sleep for the night? And tomorrow we can meet again and see where you can help out the most.”

 

“Sounds like a plan,” Alistair said and followed the soldier Aveline summoned to their quarters.

 

That night he held Lyna again while she cried. He didn’t let her apologize, no matter how much she wanted to, and reminded her again and again that it wasn’t her fault. 

 

And he vowed, once again, to hit Anders when he saw him again. This time, he might actually wear his gloves, too.

 

***

 

The next weeks were filled with work. They helped cleaning out the rubble, helped setting up more shelters, Lyna wrote to old contacts, asking for provisions… They kept busy.

 

Alistair met Varric and was introduced to Isabela, the pirate who had befriended Hawke. 

 

“I remember you,” he said, surprised. “We met in… where was it?”

 

“Denerim,” she answered, smirking. “I tried to get you into a threesome with… she’s your wife now, isn’t she? Still not interested in my offer?”

 

Ten years later and he still blushed like a teenager. Good to know.

 

“Ah… no, ah…” he said, swallowing, and Varric laughed, clapping him on the back. 

 

“Don’t let her intimidate you, Bright Eyes,” he said. “She’s all bark but no bite lately.”

 

“I’ll show you bite,” she grumbled but smirked at Alistair. “But no worries, I’m not going to proposition you again… or your wife.” She turned serious. “Varric and I were on our way to clean out some Carta bastards who are smuggling medicine. You want to join us?”

 

Sounded like a great idea to him. Even though he knew Lyna would pout he didn’t get her to help.

 

***

 

They stayed in Kirkwall or about two months. By then the city had been cleared of most of the destruction, the wounded were on their way to healing, and the dead were buried. 

 

It was on a hot day, when a young city elf ran up to where Alistair and Cullen were going over plans for the future Viscount election. 

 

“Warden Alistair,” the elf cried. “You need to come!”

 

Alistair looked up in alarm. “What is it?” he asked, concerned.

 

“Your wife, the Hero, Ser, she collapsed.”

 

Alistair paled and Cullen reached out to steady him. 

 

“Where?” the Knight-Commander asked and the elf said she had been taken to a house in the Alienage, where she had been working with the healers. 

 

“I’ll take you,” he told Alistair and together they followed the young elf through the city.

 

Alistair’s mind was filled with worry. Lyna had seemed pale that day, but she had assured him she was fine.

 

“Maker, I should have demanded her to stay in bed,” he muttered.

 

Cullen snorted. “And would she have listened?”

 

Alistair had to admit she probably wouldn’t have.

 

They arrived at the Alienage in no time at all and entered the house the young elf pointed them at.

 

“In here, Warden,” the owner, an older elf said, waving them on. “She was amidst healers, so was seen to very quickly,” she explained as the two men crowded into the narrow bedroom. 

 

“Thank you for taking her in,” Alistair said and knelt down next to the bed, taking Lyna’s hand in hers. Her eyes were closed and he looked up at the healer, who was now putting a cold cloth on her head. “Why isn’t she awake?”

 

“She fell unconscious,” he explained in a soft voice. “Overtired, a bit dehydrated, and the sun…” He waved a hand. “A good rest and water, some fruit, if we can find it, will do the trick.”

 

Alistair sighed in relief and heard Cullen do the same. 

 

“Thank you,” the Knight-Commander said, handing the healer and the owner of the some coins. “We will take her to the Keep as soon as possible to get out of your hair.”

 

“Oh, no, no trouble at all,” the female elf said with a smile. “Young mothers-to-be should not move too much in this heat.”

 

Both men stared at her and Alistair felt his eyes widen almost painfully. “What?”

 

She and the healer looked back at him, clearly confused. “Your wife is with child,” the healer said. “I assumed you knew?”

 

Alistair was speechless, and Cullen developed a sudden coughing fit. 

 

“... Apparently you did not know,” the healer added, dryly. “Well. This is a surprise, then. I would assume she does not know herself, either, or she would not have worked in the heat so long.”

 

“I… I…” Alistair stared down at Lyna, reaching out a trembling hand, stroking her cheek. Eleven years since they were tainted by the Blight, since they came together. How could she be with child now?

 

“It should be impossible,” Cullen said, having found his words first. “The Grey Wardens are… tainted by the Blight. They should be infertile.”

 

_ Except for dark magic rituals _ , Alistair thought bitterly. 

 

“Apparently, the Hero of Ferelden makes her own laws,” the healer said with a smile. “Congratulations, Warden.”

 

Alistair looked at him, desperate fear filling him. “But… she is alright? And the child?”

 

“It all seems as well as it’s supposed to,” the healer assured him. “She needs rest, but only because she worked too much in the heat. The child is completely fine, from what I have seen. If you wish, after your wife is awake, we can perform a more in-depth test, maybe find out how long she’s been pregnant, maybe even the sex of the child…”

 

Alistair swallowed. “I… yes. That would be… would be good.”

 

“Well,” Cullen said. “This was a clearly lucky fainting. I will go and get a cart, we don’t want her to walk to the Keep. And in the next few days we will call on you, if that is agreeable with you?”

 

The healer nodded and left. The house owner smiled and brought Alistair some wine and bread, as he “looked a bit peckish”. He ate and drank absentmindedly, his focus completely on his still sleeping wife.

 

A child. Lyna’s and his child. After Morrigan he never expected… His hand spasmed around hers. Morrigan. His first-born son he would never meet. Maybe there had something happened during the ritual that had… worked on the Taint. But why would it take ten years? Why now?

 

He shook his head. They could find out about it later. For now, he would wait until Lyna was awake, take her back to the Keep, and then tell her. He wondered if she knew, if she suspected… but no. She would have told him. She wouldn’t have worked so much in the heat. She didn’t know, he was sure.

 

A grin formed on his face. He couldn’t wait to see her face when he told her.

 

***

 

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

 

Alistair couldn’t help himself, he burst out laughing. It had taken Lyna a while to wake up, they had been back at the Keep by then. He had given her water and some soup, before he scolded her for “working so hard in your condition, do you want the baby to be sick?”

Her face was priceless.

 

“Stop laughing, your joke's not funny!” she exclaimed and hit him with a pillow. 

 

He held up his hands and tried to calm down. “Oh, my love, it’s your face I’m laughing about,” he said. “And it is not a joke,” he added, serious now. “The healer told me. He thought I knew.”

 

He reached out and put his hand on her belly. “My darling, you are with child.” Tears formed in his eyes. “Our child.”

 

She stared at his hands and then back up at him. Her hands, trembling, moved to cover his on her belly. “I… you are certain?” she whispered.

 

At his nod, she burst into tears and flew into his arms. 

 

He held her tight and they fell asleep entangled, exhausted and happy beyond compare.

 

***

 

They met up with Cullen, Aveline, Varric, and Isabela for dinner a few days later, after they had met the healer again. Apparently Lyna was not very far along, she must have gotten pregnant shortly before or after their arrival in Kirkwall. It was still too early to find out the sex of the child, but Alistair was just happy it was healthy.

 

Everyone congratulated them on their future parenthood, and Alistair swore he saw Varric wipe away a tear at some point.

 

“Thank you,” Lyna said, smiling brightly. “We never thought this would happen, so there are things we need to do now.”

 

Alistair nodded. “We need to go back to Ferelden,” he explained. He and Lyna had talked about it at length.

 

“There are scriptures by the Grey Wardens I need to consult,” Lyna said. “There is also an elf who is rumoured to have been freed of the Taint… I want to meet her, see if she can help us.” She put a hand on her belly. “If we are going to be parents, I don’t want us to die while our child is still not grown.”

 

Cullen nodded. “Sounds sensible,” he said, raising his tankard to them. “I wish you all the luck in the world.”

 

“And may you find what you seek,” Aveline added, and they all raised their glasses for the toast.

 

“Also, something has been going on with the Grey Wardens,” Alistair added after they emptied their drinks. “There were disturbing news…” He looked at Lyna. “We’re going to separate for a while and investigate. Loath as I am to leave her alone now, I need to follow this rumour.”

 

Isabela frowned and shared a look with Varric. “Maybe we can come with you,” she said.

 

Alistair looked surprised. “But, aren’t you busy here?” he asked.

 

Isabela shrugged. “Not really. I’ll accompany you to Ferelden and then help you out as much as I can. I still have some contacts that might be able to help, too.”

 

Lyna smiled brightly at her. “Thank you, Isabela. That is a wonderful idea!”

 

Varric nodded. “It surely is. I’ll join you, too. I think it will be good to leave Kirkwall for a while…” He looked at Cullen. “You going to be alright without us, Curly?”

 

Cullen rolled his eyes. “It will be much less chaotic without you here. Aveline might actually get some more work done, too, without having to do paperwork for your exploits.”

 

The woman in question nodded gravely, but smirked at her friends.

 

“Well then,” Alistair said. “Let’s say goodbye for now but I hope to see you again soon, Cullen, Aveline.” He grinned. “And don’t forget to write.”

 

Everyone laughed and Lyna blushed. “I like getting letters,” she grumbled, making them laugh more.

 

Their festivities lasted a while longer, Cullen and Aveline left a bit earlier, and Varric and Isabela decided to accompany Alistair and Lyna for part of the way. 

 

“So we meet at the docks tomorrow,” Isabela said. “My ship will bring us to Ferelden, leave Alistair and Varric, and we will continue on to wherever you want to check on the Grey Warden manuscripts?” she asked with a look at Lyna. 

 

Lyna nodded. “Yes, that is the best way, I think,” she smiled. “Your ship is really coming in handy.”

 

Isabela laughed. “Oh, that it does…”

 

She stopped speaking suddenly and looked around. Varric did the same.

 

“What is it?” Alistair asked, just as they were ambushed by a group of hooded men.

 

“Run!” Varric yelled, pulling Bianca off his shoulder. “Isabela, to the docks! I’ll hold them off!”

 

Isabela cursed, grabbed Lyna’s arm, and started running.

 

“Alistair!” Lyna yelled and he followed after a last look back to Varric, who was getting overrun. 

 

“Don’t wait for me!” the dwarf yelled. “Leave Kirkwall now!”

 

Alistair knew he was right, but he still felt terrible as he turned and ran after his wife and Isabela. He hoped he would see Varric again.

 

***

 

A few months later found Alistair hiding in a cave in Crestwood. He had stopped asking himself how he got there, how it had come to this.

 

The Song was strong in his head, but not as strong as it had been for the other Wardens… He clenched his fist on top of the papers he had been reading. They had been going mad and almost killed him, and now he was on the run. He didn’t know why he was less affected than them. Maybe it was another remnant of Morrigan’s ritual, maybe his mind was just stronger, maybe it was the thought of Lyna and their child…

 

He looked at her last letter. She was doing well, wasn’t hearing the Song at all, actually. Isabela also assured him that she was fine and not just trying to make him feel better.

That was one less worry for him.

 

With the Wardens going crazy, the Divine dead, the Inquisition gaining momentum, he had enough things to worry about.

 

And then there was Hawke’s plea to meet him. He was surprised to hear from her at all, but had of course agreed.

 

He was ripped from his thoughts by a sound from the cave’s entrance and hid in the shadows. 

 

An unknown woman entered the cave, looking at his work table, and he silently stepped behind her and put his sword on her shoulder.

 

“Who are you?” he asked coldly. “What do you want?”

 

The woman stood stockstill, but it was the voice from the cave entrance that made him startle.

 

“Alistair!”

 

He turned and looked at Hawke. 

 

“She’s with me,” the Champion said and he sheathed his sword. “That’s the Inquisitor.”

 

The woman turned and Alistair looked her over. She didn’t look Maker-touched, or mad, or even evil, as some of the rumours had said. She just looked… ordinary. Brown-reddish hair, as tall as he was, steely eyes.

 

“Lunara Trevelyan,” she introduced herself. “And you’re…”

 

“That’s Grey Warden Alistair Theirin,” came a new voice, clearly amused. “Nice to see you again, Bright Eyes.”

 

He whirled around. “Varric!” he exclaimed and stepped closer, putting his arms on his friend’s shoulder to look at him. “I didn’t expect to see you again. I’m glad you are alright. What happened to you?”

 

He grinned, clasping Alistair’s arms. “I was kidnapped by a Seeker,” he said. “Cassandra Pentaghast.”

 

Alistair blinked. “Wait… isn’t she one of the leaders of the Inquisition?”

 

Varric’s grin brightened. “Just the same. I decided to stay with them and see this mess to it’s end.” His eyes grew darker. “If I hadn’t taken my brother down to the Deep Roads, the red lyrium might never have been found… all this might have been avoided.”

 

Three voices protested all at once, assuring him it was not his fault. 

 

The other two people entering the cave, a huge Qunari and a mage in Tevinter robes laughed. 

 

“Seems like you have lots of friends here, Varric,” the mage said. “Maybe you should take their words to heart.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Varric grumbled. “Laugh it up, Sparkler.”

 

Alistair stepped back. “Well, this is a nice surprise,” he said. “I’m glad you’re well, Varric. Hope you let my wife know?” he added teasingly.

 

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I wrote to her and Isabela…”

 

Alistair clasped his shoulder. “Good man. Now. As he said, I’m Alistair. And you are…?” He looked at the other two he didn’t know.

 

“Dorian Pavus,” the mage introduced himself and pointed at the Qunari: “Iron Bull.”

 

Alistair nodded. “Nice to meet you. Shall we get down to business?”

 

He told the Inquisitor, Hawke, and their group about his research, what had happened to the Grey Wardens. The Inquisitor seemed troubled by the news, which was good. She was clearly clever.

 

“We should bring these news to Skyhold,” she muttered. “Leliana and Cullen will want to know about this.”

 

The quill fell out of Alistair’s hand. “Wait, what? Leliana? And Cullen? They’re with the Inquisition?”

 

It was Varric who nodded. “Yes. You really don’t get many news around here, do you?”

 

Alistair glared at him. “People who can tell me news usually try to kill me,” he said shortly. “What happened to Kirkwall that Cullen left?”

 

“Apparently, the Seeker asked him to be the Commander and he agreed, leaving Aveline in charge.,” Hawke explained, her arms crossed over her chest. “The Seeker practically haunted him from what I’ve heard.”

 

Varric nodded. “But he does a tremendous job. Our Inquisitor is very happy with him.” He smirked at the woman in question who blushed deeply.

 

“Ah,” Alistair said with a grin. “I’m glad to hear it. The man needs more happiness in his life.”

 

“Ain’t that the truth,” Hawke muttered and they shared a laugh.

 

“Stop it,” the Inquisitor snapped. “It’s not like that. Cullen is my Commander and not my… my…” She couldn’t finished the sentence, making the rest of her friends laugh, too.

 

“Not yet,” Dorian teased her. “Not for lack of trying on your part. But see, now you have less competition.” He leered at Alistair. “I think I might concentrate on a new conquest.”

 

Alistair flushed but at least managed to keep his voice even. “Sorry to tell you, but I’m happily married.”

 

“Such a shame,” the mage sighed and the Qunari laughed deeply. 

 

“Seems like you will have to concentrate on more readily available prey, Vints.”

 

“He’s not just married,” Varric added. “His wife is the most-sought woman in Thedas.”

 

The Inquisitor blinked. “Wait…” She turned on Varric. “You knew where Hawke was all the time and now you say you also knew how to reach the Hero of Ferelden?”

 

He shrugged sheepishly and she grinned.

 

“Cassandra is truly going to kill you.” She turned to Alistair who was a bit confused. “Your wife was the first choice for Inquisitor,” she explained. “Hawke the second. They captured Varric to get information about Hawke, how to find her, as they couldn’t find the Hero.”

 

Alistair looked at Varric who nodded.

 

“Well. That’s a coincidence,” Alistair said thoughtfully. “As we were with Varric as he was abducted…”

 

Silence reigned for a moment and then the whole group burst into loud, deep laughter. 

 

Alistair was sure this Cassandra was going to be quite angry with herself when she found out. Also, it seemed as if he should thank Cullen for not giving them up to her…

 

He had a lot to write to Lyna when he sent his next letter.

 

***

 

On the way to Skyhold, Varric and Hawke informed Alistair about everything that had happened with the Inquisition, leaving him deeply troubled.

 

“I was researching Corypheus already, especially in connection to the Wardens,” he said, taking bites of his stew in between. He felt a bit like he had on his first mission with Lyna, sitting at the camp side, eating stew filled with unknown meat… only that she wasn’t there.

“There is so much mystery surrounding him, and first the Templars join him and now the Wardens…”

 

“The Templars were corrupted by the red lyrium,” Dorian pointed out. “Probably something similar happened to the Wardens. You say the… Song? is really strong.”

 

Alistair nodded, rubbing his head. “Yes, it is… Sometimes it makes me think about going down the Deep Roads myself… Only when I’m half asleep though. The other times I think of Lyna and our child and am fine.”

 

Hawke leaned forward. “Right, Varric told me she was pregnant. How is that even possible?”

 

He shrugged. “We don’t know. We separated so she could research it, but so far no luck. There was apparently an elf who was freed from the Taint, but we couldn’t find her…”

 

The Inquisitor blinked. “I think I know who you mean,” she said. “Fiona. She’s at Skyhold.”

 

Alistair stared at her. “That… is truly a big coincidence.”

 

Hawke frowned. “It is… kind of suspicious.”

 

“Maybe he just deserves a bit of luck at the moment,” Iron Bull remarked dryly. “Who knows if this Fiona can even help.”

 

“Well, if she can’t, maybe Morrigan can.”

 

Alistair’s bowl of stew fell out of his limp hand at the Inquisitor’s words. “Wh… What?”

 

She looked at him in concern. “Morrigan, the witch? She is at Skyhold, too, we picked her up at the Winter Palace… Are you alright?”

 

Alistair wasn’t sure. He was shaking, her name running around his head. “Morrigan is… at Skyhold,” he said slowly. “Alone?”

 

Varric shook his head. “No, she brought her son.”

 

Blood rushed from Alistair’s head, leaving him pale and dizzy. “Excuse me,” he said, getting to his feet shakily. He managed just a few steps before he doubled over and vomited into the bushes.

 

He heard cries of alarm from the others and felt someone at his back, but the world went mercifully black.

 

***

 

When he came to, he was alone in his tent. It took him a moment to remember what had made him faint, but when he did… 

 

“Maker,” he breathed. “That fucking  _ bitch _ .”

 

Morrigan had been in Orlais and then with the Inquisition. He was sure she knew where he had been. She could have contacted him, he could have met  _ his son _ … 

He shook his head. Why would she do that? She had never liked him and letting him see his son was not even close to anything she would do.

 

Well. She wouldn’t have a choice now if they were both at Skyhold.

 

He let out a shuddery breath. “My son,” he whispered. 

 

Then he shook himself and left the tent. It was dark, everyone was asleep, except for Iron Bull, who seemed to be on watch. He raised a tankard in question and Alistair nodded, settling down next to him.

 

Soon he was distracted by some of the outrageous stories the Qunari had to tell and felt a lot better by the time they started walking again in the morning.

 

***

 

They reached Skyhold in the middle of the day. Cullen was waiting for them at the gate and Alistair looked on in amusement as he and the Inquisitor blushed around each other as he asked about her health and she about the troops…

 

“Are they always like this?” he whispered to Varric.

 

“It’s been worse,” he muttered back and they shared a grin.

 

Then Cullen came towards them, nodded at Dorian and greeted Iron Bull, sending him and his Chargers to the tavern.

 

Then he turned to Alistair and they shared a firm handshake.

 

“I’m glad to see you, my friend,” Cullen said. “Your help is greatly appreciated.”

 

Alistair smiled grimly. “I will do my best. Commander,” he added with a teasing grin.

 

Cullen groaned. “You’re as bad as your wife,” he complained. “Speaking of, a raven arrived from her, Leliana has her message waiting for you.”

 

Alistair nodded happily. Lyna always knew where he would be; when he told her Hawke had asked for help, and about the Inquisition, she had counted 1 and 1 and gotten the correct 2.

 

“I’ll go to her soon, then, if someone shows me the way,” he said. “I’m also looking for an elven mage, called Fiona? She is here, I heard?”

 

Cullen nodded and told a young recruit to show Alistair first to Leliana, then the library.

 

“I’ll see you at the tavern tonight?” he asked. “There will be a room for you there, too.”

 

Alistair nodded. “Sounds like a plan,” he said and followed the recruit.

 

***

 

Leliana welcomed him with a smile but he noticed that she had changed probably most of them all in the last ten years.

 

After he read Lyna’s message, he looked at her and frowned. 

 

“Are you alright?” he asked. “You look… unwell.”

 

Leliana looked away. “I… Losing the Divine was… hard for me. It still is.”

 

He nodded slowly and, putting the message in his pocket, stepped closer. “I know she was your friend. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

 

He reached out slowly and, when she didn’t protest, pulled her in his arms. She shuddered and sagged into his hold, sobs coursing through her. He wondered if anyone had held her since the Divine died, since all of this began. 

 

They stood there for a long time, him holding her and her crying into his chest.

 

***

 

Finding Morrigan was easy. Everyone pointed him to the gardens, where she studied and conferred with the Inquisitor and the embassador. 

Finding the courage to go to her, on the other hand, took a while.

 

When he finally managed to get his feet to move towards her, the boy was close by but far enough to not overhear. His eyes stayed trained on him.

 

“I wondered when you would come to me,” Morrigan said. 

 

He looked at her. Her voice was softer than it had been, and so was her face. She looked older, but not by much.

 

“That’s him?” he asked. “I thought he’d look… I don’t know… more  _ demonic. _ Tentacles and fiery breath.

 

She rolled her eyes. “He is a normal boy, Alistair. Smart, clever, very interested in the world. A little shy.”

 

“Ah,” Alistair said, swallowing thickly. “And what does he know of… how he was made?”

 

She stepped a bit closer, surprising him when she put a hand on his arm. 

 

“He knows his father was a good man,” she said gently. “I… I thought you deserved that much.”

 

Alistair was startled and looked her right in the eye. There was a softness there he had never seen before.

He chuckled lightly. “He’s changed you.”

 

She scoffed and stepped back. “Don’t be absurd.”

 

He laughed outright at this. “No, he really did. I… I’m grateful.”

 

He looked at the boy again. “What is his name?”

 

“Kieran,” she answered, following his gaze. “We… did Lyna tell you she found me?”

 

He nodded. “Yes. You went through the mirror…”

 

“Yes,” she nodded. “And we lived in peace, for a time. But eventually it was time to join the world again.”

 

“And you ended up in Orlais,” he said. “You could have contacted us.”

 

She shrugged. “I could have,” she agreed. “But my concern is him, not you or your wife’s curiosity.” 

 

Ah. There was the old Morrigan. He shook his head and laughed ruefully. “Yes, I wouldn’t imagine it was,” he said and they shared a smile.

 

“I… It is good you are here,” he finally said after they had watched Kieran in silence for a while. The boy seemed fascinated by a kitten that was running around. “I have some questions. You might have the answers.”

 

“Oh?” she asked and motioned for him to sit with her in the pavillon. “What questions trouble the great Alistair that he comes to the Witch to ask for help?”

 

“Don’t,” he pleaded. “This is no joking matter.”

 

She turned serious immediately. “I apologize. How can I help you?”

 

He swallowed, his hands clenching on his lap. “Lyna… she is with child.”

 

He was glad he was looking at her when he said it, or he would have missed the utter  _ astonishment _ on her face.

 

“She… really?”

 

He nodded. “Seven months along now,” he said, pride in his voice. “But… we still don’t know how it is possible. It’s been eleven years and we never… but now, all of a sudden?” He bit his lips. “And there is more… she doesn’t seem to be affected by the same curse the Wardens are. I assume you know about the Song?”

 

She nodded, already deep in thought. “She can’t hear it?”

 

He shook his head. “Not at all. And it’s quieter for me, too, than for all other Wardens I know.”

 

She thought about it. “I have some theories, but I would like some time to consult my books,” she said eventually.

 

“Of course,” he told her. “But can you share your theories already?”

 

“Well,” she said, straightening a bit. “Where did it occur? Do you know?”

 

He blinked. “Where did wha… oh.” He flushed. “Uhm, it was shortly before or after we arrived in Kirkwall.”

 

She nodded. “The veil is very thin in Kirkwall,” she said. “That might have something to do with it.”

 

“What do you mean?” he asked with a frown. “Why would the veil affect us? Neither of us is a mage.”

 

“No,” she agreed. “But I am.” She sighed. “The ritual we did was very unique. Even I don’t know all the possible side effects. It is possible that it still affected you and the thinness of the veil in Kirkwall made it possible for you to break through the Taint on both of you.”

 

Alistair thought it over. “So… you’re saying that your magic… changed me? And thus Lyna, too?” That was a horrifying thought. 

 

“Possibly,” she allowed. “This might also be connected to her not hearing the Song… Maybe the child in her, untainted as it is, cured her from her own Taint.”

 

Alistair’s mind was reeling. “Could that be possible?”

 

Morrigan shrugged. “I can’t say for sure,” she cautioned. “But I will research it for you.”

 

She stood and put a hand on his shoulder. “If it was really the ritual, then I would apologize.” She smirked. “But I think you’re rather grateful about it in this case.”

 

He nodded, feeling dazed. Magic on him might have changed him, but if it had given him and Lyna their child… 

 

“I don’t know what to say,” he finally managed.

 

She rolled her eyes. “Why don’t you entertain Kieran for a while, while I consult my books?” she asked. “But you are not to tell him who you are,” she added, the familiar steel in her voice. “You will have to swear it to me.”

 

He looked into her eyes. “On Lyna’s life,” he vowed. “I won’t tell him.”

 

She nodded, satisfied, and called the boy over to introduce them.

 

_ My son _ , Alistair thought.  _ My son, and soon another child… and all thanks to Morrigan. The world surely is strange _ .

 

***

 

“So this is where you have been hiding.”

 

Alistair turned around at the voice and found Hawke smiling at him.

 

“And still you found me,” he replied, turning back to look out to the mountains. She moved to stand next to him.

 

“I had hoped to talk to you,” she said. “If you are willing.”

 

He turned his head, looking at her. She was standing with her back to the wall, her arms resting on it, looking towards the buildings on the other side. 

 

“Of course,” he said. “What did you want to talk about?”

 

“Your wife,” she stated plainly. “I… So she really is with child?”

 

Alistair smiled, thinking about Lyna. “Yes, she is. A miracle, truly. She is looking into a way to get rid of the Taint… We know Fiona, the elven mage who is here, managed it, and I will try and get her to talk to me before we leave. She seems to avoid me.”

 

Hawke nodded seriously. “I had heard… I…” She took a deep breath. “If you find a cure… will you inform Anders of it?”

 

He sent her a sharp look. “I’m sure we would… if we knew how to contact him. Lyna has tried to do so for a while already, but it seems he does not wish to hear from her.”

 

Pain shot across the Champion’s face and for a moment Alistair wondered how old she was. Certainly younger as her battle-scared face would let him believe.

 

“Anders is…” She stopped herself again, searching for the words. “He loves her, still,” she finally managed to say, surprising him.

 

“Still?” he asked, dumbfounded. “But… I thought you and him…?”

 

The pain was back ten-fold. “Yes,” she answered bitterly. “It is a story your wife knows well. This time, he is the one who gave his heart away and I am in love with a man who can never truly love me back.”

 

On impulse, Alistair put his hand over hers, making her startle. “I’m sorry,” he said earnestly. “I wish it could have been different. If I hadn’t been such a tremendous idiot and let her think I didn’t love her… Maybe she and Anders would never have experienced that pain. And neither would you.”

 

She shook her head but left her hand under his. “Maybe then he would have never come to Kirkwall. We can’t change the past, but… I need you to know: If you die, I fear he will go to her.”

 

She met his eyes dead on. “I would not be able to bear it. I would rather die.”

 

A chill came over him, and he heard a raven cry in the distance. This moment felt like a prophecy, just for a second, and then it was gone.

 

“Let’s try to avoid both our untimely deaths, shall we?” he said, squeezing her hand, trying to lighten the mood. “We will save the Grey Wardens, I will manage to catch the slippery Fiona, and you will go back to Anders, convincing him that you are way better suited for him than my wife could ever be.”

 

She laughed, stress falling from her shoulders. “Sounds like a wonderful plan.” She pushed off the wall and moved to the stairs. “Let’s see if between us we can’t catch your elf.”

 

He laughed and followed her, the chill already forgotten.

 

***

 

They finally managed to corner Fiona in the library. Hawke smiled and walked away, leaving her and Alistair alone.

 

He wondered why the elven mage wouldn’t look at him.

 

“How can I help you, Warden?” she asked, her arms crossed over her chest. 

 

He rubbed his neck. “I need to know… you were a Grey Warden once, is that right?”

 

She seemed surprised by the question but nodded reluctantly. “I was.”

 

“And you’re free from the Taint,” he continued. “I need to know how you did it.”

 

Her posture loosened and she finally turned to look at him. “Why do you need to know?”

 

“My… my wife,” he said. “She is looking for a way. We need to get rid of it.”

 

“Why is that?” she asked. There was curiosity in her voice now, which seemed a good sign to Alistair.

 

“She is with child,” he said, making her blink. “My child. We don’t want to die and leave it all alone in a few years.”

 

She swallowed and searched his face. “A child,” she whispered. “Truly?”

 

He nodded, confused at her question. “Yes. She is seven months along.”

 

“And you are not with her?” she asked sharply and he wondered why she would scold him over this. “You left her alone?”

 

“I left her with a friend,” he corrected defensively. “Corypheus and the Wardens were problems I needed to investigate. It’s just as well she is not here, she can’t hear the Song, wherever she is.”

 

“No, she wouldn’t,” Fiona muttered and with a sigh shook her head. “She is already free of the Taint.”

 

Alistair blinked. “What? How is that possible? How do you know?”

 

“Because the fact alone that she is pregnant now, so many years after being infected, is a miracle in itself,” she answered. “Magic was certainly involved. But it is the only answer I could find for my own cure.”

 

Alistair wondered over this for a moment before it hit him. “You were pregnant?” he asked. “That is… that cured the Taint?”

 

She nodded slowly. “Yes. I believe so.”

 

His mind was reeling. “But… how?”

 

She shook her head. “I couldn’t tell you. I just know it was that and my almost dying that cured me from the Taint.”

 

Alistair was still in shock. “Both… both fit Lyna, too,” he said. “And there was a… a ritual I was involved in… the magic you mentioned.” He swallowed. “Is there no other way? I can’t get pregnant, after all,” he added with a weak laugh.

 

She shook her head, sadness in her eyes. “I am sorry, Alistair. I know nothing else about it.” She moved to a table and pulled a book from under some papers. 

 

He took it when she handed it to him.

 

“This is my journal,” she explained. “Send it to your wife, after you read it. Better yet, bring it to her yourself. Maybe the answers in it will help you.”

 

She surprised him when she put her hand on his cheek and studied his face. “You have truly grown,” she whispered. “I am very proud of you, my darling boy.”

 

“What…” he asked but she was already walking away, the warmth of her hand slowly leaking from his cheek. He put his own hand there, feeling a tickle of a memory that was gone too fast for him to analyze.

 

He looked at the book and decided to read it together with Lyna instead of alone.

 

He left the library deep in thought.

 

***

 

The Grey Wardens had decided to work with a Tevinter mage. They had turned to Blood Magic. They were sacrificing their own.

 

It was a thing out of his worst nightmares, but Alistair knew it was all truly happening. He was seeing it. Warden-Commander Clarel was killing her own people. 

 

He fought, trying not to think about killing his own comrades, people he knew… He heard Hawke mutter that she was so glad Carver was far away and could only agree that Lyna was, too.

 

And then… The Archdemon came.

 

For a moment, he was back in Denerim, that horrible moment where he saw his beloved splitting the dragon in two, wondering if she would survive…

 

Clarel came back to her senses just in time to be killed by the very thing she tried to fight. 

 

And they fell.

 

***

 

“So if we kill this Nightmare, the Song will end?” Alistair asked. He knew there was a hope in his voice he couldn’t shake. He just wanted to be free of the constant music and hoped the surviving Wardens would come to their senses…

 

“And then the Wardens can get their punishment for what they did,” Hawke added.

 

He stared at her. “What are you talking about? They were manipulated!”

 

“They still chose to use Blood Magic,” she snapped back. “They chose to use this method!”

 

“They thought they were doing the right thing!”

 

“That is no excuse!”

 

“Okay!” the Inquisitor broke through their argument. “I know we are all very pissed we are here… Wherever here is, exactly.”

 

Alistair turned away from Hawke, his jaw clenching.

 

“The Fade,” Hawke said. “The place where mages go in their dreams… But usually not in body. It is not a pleasant place to be…”

 

“Certainly not,” the Inquisitor agreed. “So let’s get out of here.”

 

Alistair followed, doing his best to ignore the taunts from the demon, or the grumbling from Hawke he heard behind him.

 

The Wardens weren’t evil. They were manipulated and did the wrong thing. They were still heroes. Weren’t they?

 

***

 

Alistair was reminded of his conversation with Hawke and the chill he had felt at the time as they stood before the gigantic Spider, the Aspect of Nightmare. 

 

“I should stay,” he said automatically. “Hawke, you were right, the Grey Wardens did this… A Grey Warden should pay.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she cut him off. “I let Corypheus out in the first place!”

 

“But you didn’t know,” he protested. “You already killed him once and -”

 

“Stop this!” she interrupted and his mouth snapped shut. Her smile was warm and gentle when he looked at her. “Remember what I told you,” she said. “And you are much more needed than I am out there.”

 

He wanted to protest, but he wondered what Lyna would say, how she would react, if he died here… He was selfish, he knew, but he didn’t want to stay and die.

 

“What about Anders?” he whispered.

 

She shrugged. “Maybe he will realize he loved me more than he thought,” she said. “Or he will finally be free. Just… don’t let him know you were also here. He will kill you.”

 

Alistair heard the serious tone in that last part and knew she was right. He looked at the Inquisitor who was almost in tears.

 

“Hawke,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Hawke shook her head. “Don’t be,” she said. “You bring that bastard down, you hear me? Or I’ll haunt you until you die.”

 

She looked at the Spider. “Tell Varric good bye from me,” she said and charged.

 

Alistair and the Inquisitor ran towards the portal and out into the real world.

 

***

 

Two nights later, still in the Western Approaches, Cullen, Varric, and Alistair sat around their own fire. They were the ones who had known Hawke, even if, in Alistair’s case, mostly through letters.

 

“I’m so sorry, Varric,” Alistair finally managed to say. When they had first come out of the Fade and Varric asked for his friend, he couldn’t say a word. He felt ashamed of himself.

 

“I know, Bright Eyes,” the dwarf said, his voice dull and lifeless. “I know. The Inquisitor told me. Hawke made the decision herself.”

 

“But she shouldn’t have been the one,” Alistair exclaimed. “I was there… I’m a Grey Warden, I should have stayed, I -”

 

“You are also a father-to-be,” Cullen interrupted him. “She made the choice, Alistair. Don’t take that away from her.”

 

Alistair buried his face in his hands. He knew Cullen was right. But he hated it anyway.

 

“Hawke went through so much shit,” Varric said. “I think… I think some part of her was glad she could go this way. For a good cause.”

 

Cullen nodded and handed Alistair a tankard full of Ale. “I agree,” he said, his voice more subdued than usual. “She… Aveline said, once, that she had given up on life long before Anders did what he did.”

 

“She had,” Varric agreed. “Ever since her mother died…”

 

Alistair took a shaky breath and took a long drink. “She told me Anders would try to kill me if he ever found out I was there.”

 

Varric thought it over. “Yeah, I think she’s right there,” he said eventually. “I will write him, of course, but leave your name out of it.”

 

“Thank you,” Alistair said. “And… please don’t tell him about Lyna either. Where she is, I mean.” 

 

The dwarf nodded. “Alright. Probably for the best. He might try to go to her and neither of you need that. Or the baby.”

 

Cullen agreed. “What do you think he will do?”

 

Varric shrugged. “Who knows what Blondie has in his head nowadays. Maybe he will do us all a favor and burn himself to death.”

 

A grim silence followed those words.

 

“I think you should go home,” Cullen eventually said and looked at Alistair. “I know the Grey Wardens look to you as their Senior now, but you don’t owe them anything. You should go back to Lyna and be there when the child arrives.”

 

Alistair thought about it. Part of him wanted to atone for what the Grey Wardens had done. But Cullen was right. He didn’t owe them anything, not anymore.

 

“Yes, I think I might do that,” he said slowly. “I have everything I need with me… I can take a caravan instead of going back to Skyhold with you.”

 

“Sounds like a great plan,” Varric said, filling his tankard again. “Please tell Lyna I wish her all the best… And Isabela…” He frowned. “Tell her I’m sorry I couldn’t protect Hawke and if she wants to beat me up over it, she knows where to find me.”

 

“I don’t think she will blame you,” Cullen said but sounded dubious enough to make Alistair smile a little. “I, on the other hand, will have to tell Aveline.”

 

They all shuddered in unison.

 

“What about her brother?” Alistair asked. 

 

Varric sighed. “I will write him… He and Hawke never got along well, but he will still be devastated. Maybe I’ll ask him to work with the Inquisition in her stead, he might be willing.”

 

“No, don’t,” Cullen said. “He will fare better on his own mission… And I truly don’t want  another Hawke to die on my watch.”

 

Alistair looked at them. “You know that neither of you is at fault for this, right?” he said. “We… all of us, we are so lucky that through all what happened we lost so few people. The Grey Wardens I knew once are gone, your old charges at the Circle, Cullen, and now Hawke… But most of our friends are still alive. That in itself is a miracle.”

 

Varric nodded slowly and Cullen was visibly thinking it over.

 

“You are right, of course,” the Commander said after a while. “But… it is hard to remember this in times like these.”

 

“I know,” Alistair said. “Which is why you should really make a move on the Inquisitor, Cullen.”

 

Cullen, who had just taken a drink from his ale, spit it out all over the fire, making it burn higher for a moment. 

 

“Ex- excuse me?” Cullen asked, coughing.

 

Varric laughed and Alistair grinned as he hit Cullen on the back.

 

“You heard me,” Alistair said. “You deserve some happiness, and so does she. And the way you two look at each other is obvious. The only one more obvious is Iron Bull and his desperate attempts to tempt Dorian into his bed.”

 

Varric was still laughing and Cullen spluttering when the Inquisitor came up to them a few minutes later, wondering what the ruckus was.

 

Alistair got up, pulling Varric alongside him, and let Cullen explain.

 

***

 

Alistair left the Inquisition the next day. He gave Cullen messages for Morrigan - how to reach him, what he had learned from Fiona, thanking her for letting him talk to his son -, for Leliana, and promised the Inquisitor to stay in contact and be available if she needed more help. The Grey Wardens would be led by someone younger and less experienced than him but he was done. It was time to go home.

 

He took messages for Isabela and Lyna from Varric and Cullen, plus the book and research he had gotten from Fiona and Morrigan, and started the long trek home.

 

When he finally, after weeks of traveling, reached the little village he and Lyna called home, he wondered if he would come home to a pregnant wife, or a wife and a baby, or a baby and a dead wife, or to no one at all. He hadn’t gotten any news on the road, nor had he told her about Hawke. It could wait.

 

When he saw the smoke coming from the roof of their house, he was relieved. There would be no smoke if there were dead in the house.

 

He walked towards the door which opened just as he came close enough to reach for it.

 

Lyna stared at him, heavily pregnant, one hand pressed to her back. Her face lit up like the sun and he took the last steps forward and embraced her for the first time in months.

 

“You’re home,” she whispered. “And just in time.”

 

He smiled into her hair, letting himself be engulfed by her scent. “I’m home,” he agreed. “Right where I need to be.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love <3
> 
> I'm also on tumblr as Daughterofscotland (see my profile for the link) if you'd rather leave a private comment :)


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